I would like to draw some parallels between how God treats his loyal servant, Job, and the way an abusive man treats his partner. It continues to amaze me that Jews and Christians truly believe that God is all loving yet still torments and sadistically tortures mankind. According to the Church, God has that right - God is the Supreme Being. This behavior - torture, torment, rape, murder, infanticide etc. comes from an infallible God. Thus, God's actions are infallible. Why then, do we get so upset when we hear about a woman being raped, beaten or murdered by her partner? God did these very things to thousands of people in the Bible. In many of the Biblical tales God "tested the faith" of his followers by punishing them and, in the end, these followers developed a greater love and understanding of God. Was God just testing Sharon Rocha's faith when he allowed Scott Peterson (or maybe God ordered the Devil to make Scott strangle his 8 months pregnant wife, bing her, tie her feet to cement blocks, and dump her lifeless body in the bay) murder her and her unborn baby? If we are to believe the Bible, then God purposely killed Laci and Connor to test the allegiance of Laci's family. Wow, that sounds like a loving God, doesn't it?
The book of Job is a long story designed to explain the existence of evil and suffering in the world. It falls short. This is it in a nutshell:
Job was a very wealthy man with several children who had families. Job owned livestock, property, and trading companies. On a bet with God, Satan arranged for Job's children and their families to be killed, his livestock stolen and his caravans robbed. Job lost everything he had except his own life. Pressing the bet even more, Satan afflicted Job with a terrible skin disease. Despite these catastrophes, Job did not curse God, even though his own wife urged him to do so. In fact, Job tore his robes as a sign of Grief and due to his immense faith in the Lord he lay down before God worshipped the Creator.
Notice how similar God's actions are to those of an abusive partner:
Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.
Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets.
The abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show the victim "who is boss."
Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. (Not only does this sound like God but also, the Church's explanations for suffering). They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. (Doesn't God blame evil on Satan??)
The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her. (How many times in the Bible - OT and NT-does God set people up to be hurt and tortured??)
To be blunt: I fail to see how anyone capable of average cognitive functioning and of sound mind could worship a God who willingly tortures and torments his followers.
-END OF RANT-
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Omnipotent & Omnibenevolent-Harold Kushner
Over the past year I have been trying to come to terms with the fact that the Judeo-Christian God does not exist. I have a problem with the entire foundation upon which Christianity (and to some extent, Judaism) is built. I could go on for days but this post concerns the Judeo-Christian belief that God is all-knowing, all-powerful and all-good. Any man with a brain in his skull has undoubtedly asked the question "How can this be?" If God possesses the aforementioned characteristics then why is there such suffering and pain in the world?
http://www.time.com/time/2001/aidsinafrica/ How can an all-loving God, who COULD cure AIDS, stand back and watch these people die?
Many a theologian has tried to explain and make sense of this problem. Harold Kushner simply decided that since he wanted to believe in God he had to make a choice. Kushner is a Jewish Rabbi who desperately wanted to hold onto his faith yet could not reconcile how an all-loving and all-powerful God could let such atrocities befall his people. Kushner decided that God could be either all-powerful OR all-good. Since he wanted to believe in a God that was good and just, he decided that God was all-good but not all-powerful. Sadly he made a critical error in logic when he decided he could just pick and choose the characteristics of the Judeo-Christian God. Kushner made the first step - but he stopped there. Let's assume he is correct: God is all-loving but not all-powerful. If we agree that perfection = omniscience, omnipotence and omnibenevolence, then by using deductive reasoning, we can state with certainty that Kushner's God is an imperfect God. If God is not perfect how can we know which of his commandments we SHOULD follow? How can we know what is true and just if some of what God does is wrong? Imperfection begets mistakes! Furthermore, how could a God who is powerful enough to create human genomes, cellular mitosis, DNA, recessive genes and the complex art of reproduction NOT be able to cure a disease such as AIDS? It doesn't add up. Kushner made excuses for God because he desperately needed to cling to his faith.
For over a year I have grappled with the same issue and have tried to make sense of it. I cannot. I cannot believe in a Judeo-Christian God because such a God cannot exist.
http://www.time.com/time/2001/aidsinafrica/ How can an all-loving God, who COULD cure AIDS, stand back and watch these people die?
Many a theologian has tried to explain and make sense of this problem. Harold Kushner simply decided that since he wanted to believe in God he had to make a choice. Kushner is a Jewish Rabbi who desperately wanted to hold onto his faith yet could not reconcile how an all-loving and all-powerful God could let such atrocities befall his people. Kushner decided that God could be either all-powerful OR all-good. Since he wanted to believe in a God that was good and just, he decided that God was all-good but not all-powerful. Sadly he made a critical error in logic when he decided he could just pick and choose the characteristics of the Judeo-Christian God. Kushner made the first step - but he stopped there. Let's assume he is correct: God is all-loving but not all-powerful. If we agree that perfection = omniscience, omnipotence and omnibenevolence, then by using deductive reasoning, we can state with certainty that Kushner's God is an imperfect God. If God is not perfect how can we know which of his commandments we SHOULD follow? How can we know what is true and just if some of what God does is wrong? Imperfection begets mistakes! Furthermore, how could a God who is powerful enough to create human genomes, cellular mitosis, DNA, recessive genes and the complex art of reproduction NOT be able to cure a disease such as AIDS? It doesn't add up. Kushner made excuses for God because he desperately needed to cling to his faith.
For over a year I have grappled with the same issue and have tried to make sense of it. I cannot. I cannot believe in a Judeo-Christian God because such a God cannot exist.
Monday, October 29, 2007
The Superficiality of Everyday Life
Since my mother's death I find myself NEEDING to talk about this quest of mine. And sadly, I have no one to talk about it with. I sometimes want to throw my head back and scream out of sheer frustration. There is more to life than bars, and the red sox, cute boys, tailgating and $1.99 draughts. I often feel like I am the only one among my friends who realizes this. Yet, I bite my tongue, for I long to see life as they see it. ..their naivete is something I so envy. they have never had to sponge bathe a young, dying mother, wipe the spittle from her chin, moisten her cottony mouth with a damp sponge, clean her disease riddled body after a bout with diarrhea, watch her lose every shred of dignity, and then have her die their arms. They cannot know what it is like, and I shouldn't expect them to. I envy them and they infuriate me because they are not on this same journey. No, I walk alone. In my heart of hearts I know I would not wish this harrowing journey upon even my worst enemy. Yet I still find it so hard to contain my jealousy. I am compelled to stand on rooftops and scream "Look! Look! All of you- look at the world! Look around you, open your eyes!" No, I must walk alone. I am reminded of a quote from "Ordinary People":
So where is the fault? Is it in believing that the people you love are immortal? Untouchable? No, everyone believes that. Only no one knows it's what he believes-until it happens. Then comes the rage, the banging about the walls, crying what if, what if. Everyone is always so damned surprised, that is the horror of it.
So where is the fault? Is it in believing that the people you love are immortal? Untouchable? No, everyone believes that. Only no one knows it's what he believes-until it happens. Then comes the rage, the banging about the walls, crying what if, what if. Everyone is always so damned surprised, that is the horror of it.
After reading about Mother Theresa I must admit, I feel less alone. Her words are so powerful, and capture the very essence of how I feel. Though upon realizing she never regained her faith I am wondering if my identifying with her search is a good thing or a bad thing. Am I fated to remain a skeptic?
Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone ... Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?— Mother Theresa -addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated
Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone ... Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?— Mother Theresa -addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated
Introduction to my Search
I endured a lot as a child and always wondered, "If God loves me so much, why does he let me suffer?" I was such a bereft child that I threatened suicide at age 4. My unhappiness continued throughout my teens. Through it all I prayed. I remember getting down on my hands and knees and begging God to help me. I got no answer. My pleas fell on deaf ears. I tried to live a good life. I helped others, I believed in God, I tried to live by the Commandments. I truly, and naively, thought that the just were rewarded and the wicked punished. Why was I being punished? I was a good and worthy child. What had I done wrong? All too quickly I learned that the just are not rewarded and the wicked are not punished. Either God is evil and enjoys inflicting pain upon us, or everything in the world is the result of luck and chance.
My source of strength was always my mother. She was the only person who could understand me. She was the only person who loved me unconditionally. She was there for me throughout the medications, depressive episodes, horrible compulsions etc. She loved me. She was my strength. Then, when I was 15, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I prayed and prayed for God to spare her. God did not spare her. She died after a 10 year bout with breast cancer. My mother was a teacher, a mentor, a loving woman. She believed in God, read the Bible, volunteered. She was my heart and soul and now she is gone and I am left asking "Why?"
In the past 2 years (since mom's recurrence) I have been on a quest to find God. Everyone kept telling me, listen to Jesus' words: "Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you." So I sought to find God. I longed for his love and compassion; I wanted a relationship with this "Creator" that everyone spoke so highly of. I read the Bible. I read the works of Christian Apologetics. I studied Pascal's Wager. I researched ancient religious texts. I meditated. I asked God to help me. I prayed that I would be "Shown the light." I came up empty. I never felt an ounce of love or compassion from God. I never felt that everything would be okay or that there was a plan for me. I was left feeling empty and lost.
The issue of evil and suffering is what has made me question my beliefs. In terms of evil works, NOTHING, NOTHING can compare to the Bible. Christians say that the Old Testament contains evil verses, but that the New Testament does not. Ha! Have they ever READ the Bible???
Jesus says, "Don't imagine that I came to bring peace on earth! No, rather a sword! lf you love your father, mother, sister, brother, more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. " Matthew 10:34
Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." Matthew 10:21
I have wondered if God cast Satan out because Satan stood up to him and actually told him He (GOD) was being evil. Hell, If I were an angel I would tell God he was behaving horribly and torturing people! I mean, God's acts are worse than those of Hitler, Stalin, GW Bush etc. combined! The Bible says Satan was cast out for hubris...thinking he was better than, and challenging God. It does not take a huge leap of faith to think "Gee, maybe Satan was smeared by the Bible...made out to be a devil when in fact, he was the good guy who tried to put a stop to all this evil!" Now this is just a thought, I have not researched this idea enough to debate it at all.
I have asked for help in developing a sense of faith again. I am sort of on a quest to find God – if he exists. People tell me to read the Bible...that all the answers can be found in the Bible. I have read it...cover to cover, many a time. I get nothing out of it. From the beginning of time humans have searched for meaning. Why are we so pompous as to believe OUR God is the true God and our creation story is correct? In truth it holds no more merit than the belief of one African tribe that the world was created out of ant excrement. Not to mention the false promises. And if I believe anything in the Bible I have to believe the premise of why we are here in the first place. The Bible says we are here because of a pompous, arrogant ass of a God who banished us here to suffer for eating from the tree of knowledge. Why worship a God who demands our obedience and banishes us when we disappoint him? Would you banish your kids if they disobeyed you? Would you sit by and watch them suffer if, being an all powerful creature, you could save them all? Would you crucify your child to save the world...to make an example out of him/her when you could just wave your hands and heal the world? I doubt you would rather inflict pain upon your kin.
One phrase that is repeated over and over again in the New Testament is "your faith has saved you." Those who blindy believe in God...even when he kicks them will be healed. Okay if that is true then why didn't Jesus heal my mother? She believed in him. I talk with my cousin about God A LOT. She tells me to cry out and ask God to help me. She has told me that God does not reveal himself because we have free will to seek him out if we so choose. Oyyyyyyy if I had a nickel for every time anyone said that to me I could retire at age 27. It seems like a lame excuse, honestly. It points to a God so desperate for attention and so pompous that rather than reveal himself to people, he makes them search for him, makes them despair wondering if he exists...all to prove their love and faith for him. Kind of like an abusive boyfriend - I'm going to smack you around and rape you and then hope you will get on your knees and worship me. No thanks.
I have also spoken to many people about blind faith. I can honestly say I have never met a stupid atheist. Stupid Christians - heck yes! That is NOT to say that Christians, as a whole, are stupid. Not at all. But I get pissed off when people who have NEVER investigated the Bible, never read contradictory accounts , never read Dawkins, have not investigated Pascal's Wager etc. try to sway me with their faith. I spoke about this with my cousin and she said that simply because someone is not intelligent, it does not invalidate their faith. I disagree. We are born into a religion. We are spoon fed our set of "beliefs" since birth. When people do not question it, and blindly accept the beliefs, they make the entire human race look pathetic. They proselytize and chant Bible verses yet do not understand even the basic concepts upon which their religion is based. Stupid people seem to make the best followers. When your IQ is lower than your diastolic pressure it doesn't take much convincing that there exists an invisible man in the sky! Would you expect a mentally retarded person to be able to fully grasp the concept of quantum physics? Religion, from what I have seen, is no less complex.
My cousin has also told me that my questioning of my faith will, down the line, give me a STRONGER faith. She mentioned the "Dark Night of the Soul." Many mystics, Monks etc. have questioned their faith and returned to the church with a stronger belief. To which I say...not exactly...sometimes there is Eternal Night of the Soul. Mother Theresa experienced what according to letters released in 2007, "may be the most extensive such case on record", lasting from 1948 till her death in 1997, with only brief interludes.
My source of strength was always my mother. She was the only person who could understand me. She was the only person who loved me unconditionally. She was there for me throughout the medications, depressive episodes, horrible compulsions etc. She loved me. She was my strength. Then, when I was 15, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I prayed and prayed for God to spare her. God did not spare her. She died after a 10 year bout with breast cancer. My mother was a teacher, a mentor, a loving woman. She believed in God, read the Bible, volunteered. She was my heart and soul and now she is gone and I am left asking "Why?"
In the past 2 years (since mom's recurrence) I have been on a quest to find God. Everyone kept telling me, listen to Jesus' words: "Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you." So I sought to find God. I longed for his love and compassion; I wanted a relationship with this "Creator" that everyone spoke so highly of. I read the Bible. I read the works of Christian Apologetics. I studied Pascal's Wager. I researched ancient religious texts. I meditated. I asked God to help me. I prayed that I would be "Shown the light." I came up empty. I never felt an ounce of love or compassion from God. I never felt that everything would be okay or that there was a plan for me. I was left feeling empty and lost.
The issue of evil and suffering is what has made me question my beliefs. In terms of evil works, NOTHING, NOTHING can compare to the Bible. Christians say that the Old Testament contains evil verses, but that the New Testament does not. Ha! Have they ever READ the Bible???
Jesus says, "Don't imagine that I came to bring peace on earth! No, rather a sword! lf you love your father, mother, sister, brother, more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. " Matthew 10:34
Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." Matthew 10:21
I have wondered if God cast Satan out because Satan stood up to him and actually told him He (GOD) was being evil. Hell, If I were an angel I would tell God he was behaving horribly and torturing people! I mean, God's acts are worse than those of Hitler, Stalin, GW Bush etc. combined! The Bible says Satan was cast out for hubris...thinking he was better than, and challenging God. It does not take a huge leap of faith to think "Gee, maybe Satan was smeared by the Bible...made out to be a devil when in fact, he was the good guy who tried to put a stop to all this evil!" Now this is just a thought, I have not researched this idea enough to debate it at all.
I have asked for help in developing a sense of faith again. I am sort of on a quest to find God – if he exists. People tell me to read the Bible...that all the answers can be found in the Bible. I have read it...cover to cover, many a time. I get nothing out of it. From the beginning of time humans have searched for meaning. Why are we so pompous as to believe OUR God is the true God and our creation story is correct? In truth it holds no more merit than the belief of one African tribe that the world was created out of ant excrement. Not to mention the false promises. And if I believe anything in the Bible I have to believe the premise of why we are here in the first place. The Bible says we are here because of a pompous, arrogant ass of a God who banished us here to suffer for eating from the tree of knowledge. Why worship a God who demands our obedience and banishes us when we disappoint him? Would you banish your kids if they disobeyed you? Would you sit by and watch them suffer if, being an all powerful creature, you could save them all? Would you crucify your child to save the world...to make an example out of him/her when you could just wave your hands and heal the world? I doubt you would rather inflict pain upon your kin.
One phrase that is repeated over and over again in the New Testament is "your faith has saved you." Those who blindy believe in God...even when he kicks them will be healed. Okay if that is true then why didn't Jesus heal my mother? She believed in him. I talk with my cousin about God A LOT. She tells me to cry out and ask God to help me. She has told me that God does not reveal himself because we have free will to seek him out if we so choose. Oyyyyyyy if I had a nickel for every time anyone said that to me I could retire at age 27. It seems like a lame excuse, honestly. It points to a God so desperate for attention and so pompous that rather than reveal himself to people, he makes them search for him, makes them despair wondering if he exists...all to prove their love and faith for him. Kind of like an abusive boyfriend - I'm going to smack you around and rape you and then hope you will get on your knees and worship me. No thanks.
I have also spoken to many people about blind faith. I can honestly say I have never met a stupid atheist. Stupid Christians - heck yes! That is NOT to say that Christians, as a whole, are stupid. Not at all. But I get pissed off when people who have NEVER investigated the Bible, never read contradictory accounts , never read Dawkins, have not investigated Pascal's Wager etc. try to sway me with their faith. I spoke about this with my cousin and she said that simply because someone is not intelligent, it does not invalidate their faith. I disagree. We are born into a religion. We are spoon fed our set of "beliefs" since birth. When people do not question it, and blindly accept the beliefs, they make the entire human race look pathetic. They proselytize and chant Bible verses yet do not understand even the basic concepts upon which their religion is based. Stupid people seem to make the best followers. When your IQ is lower than your diastolic pressure it doesn't take much convincing that there exists an invisible man in the sky! Would you expect a mentally retarded person to be able to fully grasp the concept of quantum physics? Religion, from what I have seen, is no less complex.
My cousin has also told me that my questioning of my faith will, down the line, give me a STRONGER faith. She mentioned the "Dark Night of the Soul." Many mystics, Monks etc. have questioned their faith and returned to the church with a stronger belief. To which I say...not exactly...sometimes there is Eternal Night of the Soul. Mother Theresa experienced what according to letters released in 2007, "may be the most extensive such case on record", lasting from 1948 till her death in 1997, with only brief interludes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
